Disappointed & Distant

Disappointed & Distant
“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭11

Hebrews 12:8 was the verse God used to bring be to salvation. Now growing up I know that there is not one time that I received a spanking from my parents that I found and joy in, nor did I feel as that it brought out any peaceable fruit, other than I was good until next time I messed up. There were times that what I did truly broke my dad’s heart and I knew that I disappointed him. When this would happen my dad didn’t really have the heart to be around me as that my presence reminded him of how I had made him feel. There were only 3 or 4 occasions of this to the best of my memory. I don’t remember any significant butt whooping that impacted me like those few heart breaking moments. Those heart breaking moments are memorable because they helped shape the man I am today. They were character developing.

I believe there is a difference between God’s loving, chastening hand, and God’s loving judgment. God has had to whoop me over the head many times as His child to course correct me and I remember many of them, but there are quite a few times that instead of what I considered a whooping moment, there was a distant disappointed presence. In those times I can see the heart of David as he cried out for forgiveness in Psalm 51, or the desperation of Paul when he cries out, “O wretched man that I am”.

God’s chastisement is more about Him becoming heart broken over my actions or inactions rather than about course correcting punishment. In 1 Corinthians 11 we see that if I am to be close to Him I must “judge myself”, or look within who I am and see if there is current or potential heart break looming and repent so He won’t have to judge. I Romans we learn that it is “the goodness of the Lord that leadeth to repentance”. I have found that when I break God’s heart, or grieve the Holy Spirit that He becomes disappointed and distant, I’ve learned that God is not ready to dole out judgment when I sin, but is waiting for me to remember that true contentment is only found in Him and that my searching elsewhere has broken His heart, but His longsuffering, gentle, and good as He waits for me to in faith turn back to him, meek and tempered...peaceable fruit of righteousness...
Pastor Larry Hof

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